Burning Seacrest


“I guess it was the beatings made me wise – Pearl Jam- “Rearviewmirror”

As I watch this market drift aimlessly into obscurity, my mind wanders to Polynesian islands, a cold Corona and goddess women fanning me with banana leaves. I also think of  being onstage in front of 100,000 screaming fans as I perform the greatest twenty minute guitar solo in the history of rock and roll.

Then I awaken to see my stocks flat as a pancake and I wonder why I chose to do this for a living.  Days like this are almost as bad as the ones when we drop 2.5% for no reason. Just excruciating.

Normally I would fool around on Draftkings when things are this slow, but there’s only one game left and I only care about the JETS right now anyway. I thought about finding some dirty politician to mock on Twitter, but there are too many and I couldn’t  decide. Frankly, I don’t even  care anymore about politics, its a clown show.  We’re all doomed.

Anyhoo, the S&P is down about 1% this month and my subscribers are profitable on 22 of 25 trades this month. I feel good about that.

My “get two years for the price of one” sale ends Friday.  Don’t be an  antediluvian misanthrope and join now.

I’ll be setting Ryan Seacrest on fire New Years Eve, so  if anyone is free shoot me an email.


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