10 Things I Will Do If the Government Shuts Down Next Friday

1- Naked short sell my ass off.

2- Not file my taxes.

3- Send porn to The Bernank’s personal e-mail.

4- Spray paint my local post office.

5- Rudely drop in on Mary Shapiro’s barbeque.

6- Wrap Barney Frank in a giant raincoat and spin him around like a dreidel.

7- Get to Planned Parenthood tonight.

8- Break into the Smithsonian and slip into some cool knight armor.

9- Find a good riot and chant Attica.

10- Declare myself an anarchist for a day, using one of Pelosi’s neck scarves as my flag.