There should be a study on the expansion of the American waistline and the atrophy of the human form every time a new Apple product is released. So much duplication of effort so brilliantly marketed in different shapes and sizes. I told my son the other day to go out and get some fresh air as he fake fly casted for trout from his iTouch, he looked at me with those cute alien eyes and asked, “what is this thing you humans call fresh air?” The signature on his texts says “let’s play some COD”-that means Call of Duty. He plays sports and is very active, but so many kids these days are not. I’m waiting for a new reality show for geeks with weight problems, kind of a “Beauty and the Geek” meets The Biggest Loser. Thank God we have this free health care thingy. My kids are already smarter than I ever was at their age, but enough already. We are spawning a nation of geeks with a side order of carpal tunnel syndrome. I’m so damn sick of it. Now,where did I put my freaking iPad?