In a recent interview on the country’s most watched financial and comedy network, 123 year old Alan Greensan said “Yeah, even I didn’t fuck things up this badly, and I had all the tools to do it”.
He went on to say “trust me, I really tried to force the market to crash bigger and sooner than it did in 2008. It was a magical time, I just wish it crashed bigger. I’ll live with that for the rest of my life”.
Greenspan seems to have a lot of demons these days as he went on to say, “it really pisses me off, I mean, it seems like Bernanke got all the credit for the market crash, but I was the guy that set the whole thing up. I worked night and day to put the beast in motion. He went on to say, “with the way my luck has been going, this Yellen character is really going to become famous, I mean she has this thing so fucked, there’s just no way out, I mean NO way out”.
He said he got more attention when he married Andrea Mitchell than he did for imploding the biggest economy in the world. “Yes, Andrea was a milf, everyone knew it, but come on”.
When asked about Brexit on his Squawk on the Street interview, Greenspan had a moment of lucidity and said, ”
“This is the worst period I recall since I’ve been in public service, there’s nothing like it, including the crisis — remember October 19th, 1987, when the Dow went down by a record amount 23 percent? That I thought was the bottom of all potential problems. This has a corrosive effect that will not go away.”
Greenspan continues to make as much money as the Clintons, giving speeches on how not to fuck up major economies.
Alan enjoys fly tying, spackling his attic and connecting crazy straws together.